10 Worst Excuses for Not Starting A Paper Until 12:00 AM the Day It’s Due

  1. “I needed time to contemplate the prompt…while playing Call of Duty.”
  2.  “I produce my best work after 2:00 am.”
  3. “I had to argue with my roommate for four hours because he said The Phantom Menace is better than The Empire Strikes Back!”
  4. “I had to avenge last week’s devastating loss in my floor’s beer pong tournament.”
  5. “48-hour Office marathon on TBS. ‘Nuff said.”
  6. “My professor doesn’t like me, so there’s no point in putting in much effort since she’ll just give me a bad grade anyway.”
  7. “My girlfriend is studying abroad this semester, so I have to Skype with her every day for seven hours.”
  8. “I got food poisoning from Seasons and couldn’t leave my bed for ten days.” (This excuse is actually quite believable.)
  9. “I couldn’t miss karaoke night at Skellig!”
  10.  “The Patriots lost again and I needed time to properly mourn.”

-Will Markow

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